My big sister got married today!!!
Mr. & Mrs. Lonnie D. Harris
After 9 years of marriage, many mistakes, many confrontations, and many amazing moments, there are some words of wisdom stirring in my spirit that I just had to release. As my husband always says, "in true Jamonica fashion," I spoke these words of wisdom and encouragement to the Bride and Groom during the Matron of Honor toast at the wedding reception. No silly stories that made us reminisce on the past. Just encouraging words that gave them something to think about in their future. And because of the outpouring of love, kind words and amazing remarks afterward, I wanted to share this with you too:
1. First and foremost, always honor your Covenant. Today you both entered into a covenant relationship with God first, then one another. Honor it always by being the wife and husband God created you to be. Remember that your marriage is ultimately designed for God's glory not simply your happiness. There will be happy moments. But there will also be extremely difficult ones. When you experience those, that's when you'll begin to really understand what this means. It's easy to honor God and one another when you're happy, or when things are going well for you. But it is when your earthly happiness is tested that you learn what covenant really is.
2. Let love win every time. Be vulnerable. Be flexible. Allow your love levels to change with time, different encounters with one another and God, and with your life experiences. Allow yourself and your spouse to grow...to change. Allow him/her to test out what that growth looks like in their lives...be supportive of that...it will feel uncomfortable because it will change dynamic of your relationship. But that's the purpose...to grow deeper. Likewise, don't force change or growth on your spouse. Love him/her where they are and for who they are. And make sure you tell one another that. Let love win!
3. Keep commonalities at the forefront of your relationship and have fun together. You have to do business in your household and you have to do ministry outside of the home, but you also have to do it inside...that's actually where it starts. Your mission work begins with your spouse. And part of your mission is to be your spouse's friend and greatest supporter. Always remember where you started, how you started, why you started. Go back to that when your now looks a little dreary. Cater to him. Cater to her. Put the time in to find out what would make your spouse jump for joy...and do that...often! Break bread together. Never stop dating. Enjoy your now...your today. And don't let the enemy of yesterday and tomorrow steal your now moments with one another.
4. Remember to be YOU! Don't lose sight of who that is. Don't give in to the temptation of trying to become who you "think" your spouse whats you to be. God created you as individuals and brought you together for a purpose. Your uniqueness is what will allow you to accomplish great things together. Trust God's handiwork! But don't use that as an excuse not to grow. Grow together. Learn from each other. But be yourself. The self that God created and called you to be.
5. And finally, remember that this is really not about YOU! You getting married is all about what you can do for someone else… in particular God and your spouse. The moment you become self-serving in your marriage is the moment you begin to divide and fall out of fellowship with one another. Because that's how God designed it. You are servants. Servants to God first, then servants to one another. Be a good steward over your spouse's life.
Lonnie and Robyn, I love you both and pray for peace and blessings to overflow in your marriage. May the two of you live Happily Ever After!!!
Your Little Sis,